I Wish I Had a Daddy

As a child I never imagined that having a father would really be so great. Then when you don't have one anymore you realize how special they truly are. I was suppose to be a Daddy's girl but it nerve quite happened that way. So many people tell me to move past it, let it go, his loss but I can't. His absence affects every part of me even into my core. I still cry for someone I've never known. I feel like I am so incomplete not knowing who I truly am. I just wanted to be loved by my Father. It's so hard to pretend that I am whole when I have a void left by a man who helped create me and left.

What becomes of the broken-hearted? I know some people go in the opposite direction and I so wish I would have but I didn't. Every relationship I encounter is tainted by the absence of my daddy. I struggle even as a Christian..a believer to grasp the undying love God has for me because of my fathers absence. I look at all the poor children boys and girls who are left with one parent and it breaks my heart. I am committed to writing about it in hopes I can finally heal. For years I have kept my true emotions inside for fear of ridicule I'm 34 already. I just want to be free!

Decisions made in the heat of passion tend to leave unweighted plans that will forever change the lives of all parties involved sometimes for the better and others for the worst. Bridge the gap-- Don't all children need love? As an adult is my failure to thrive inhumane? Is this the point I should pretend I have healed by placing a band aid over a gaping wound? Help me to heal my heart is aching from this void I call desiring to know my daddy.